Understanding the Power of Tears: Navigating Grief and Emotional Release
If we met and you told me your story of loss and your grief, I would cry. Even if you did not cry.
I used to be ashamed of crying in front of others. I thought I was too sensitive, falling apart, couldn’t hold it together. As a child and young teen, I cried during movies, when I was happy, and when I was so sad I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Then, because I wanted to be brave, the strong one, the one with their act together, I cried in private.
But then life dealt its inevitable losses, and with them, waves of grief. While society often accepts tears in the aftermath of a death, I found myself grappling with the expectation to swiftly move on from my role as a young widow. The pressure to conceal my grief intensified, leading me to seek solace in private moments of tears to release my emotions.
Over the years and especially since the death of my son, I’ve been more accepting of my tears and the benefits I derive from crying.
Benefits of Crying
Do you notice that after a good cry, you begin to feel better? This release of emotion has a self-soothing effect on people and helps them relax. Scientists have also found that crying helps release pent up emotions – like a safety valve. Keeping emotions inside can cause physical and emotional problems.
Crying in Public or Private?
You never know when a burst of grief will happen. You can be in the grocery store and spot a loved one’s favorite food. I’ve had my moments at work, in the park, in church, while having lunch with friends. Feeling the emotion bubble up and then letting the tears flow was cathartic but also a little embarrassing. I was most comfortable when in the presence of those who cared about me because they shared in my grief and let me do what felt right.
While seeking support from others can alleviate the burden of grief, there are benefits of shedding tears in solitude too. I found the combination of writing in my journal and letting the tears flow was an especially helpful way to release grief.
Exploring Emotional Release Techniques
In a recent article, Gina Moffa, author of 'Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go,' highlights the therapeutic value of crying. Moffa emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and processing our emotions, as repressed feelings can manifest in physical ailments. Providing ourselves with the space and safety to embrace our emotions, including tears, is crucial for holistic healing.
Write It Out: I mentioned earlier that journaling was a great way for me to release emotions on paper but also shed tears along the way. Journaling can help calm that “fight, flight, fear” part of the brain while allowing you to process your emotions.
Move It Out: Yoga can help release grief symptoms as well, clearing out and moving negative energy, releasing tension making you feel lighter and perhaps even finding happiness.
Breath It Out: Try this breath technique the next time you feel overwhelmed with your grief or you want to hold off crying:
Close your eyes. Inhale through the nose for a count of 3; exhale through your nose to a count of 4. (you can choose the count). Continue this breath cadence as you relax your face, neck, and shoulders. Notice the tension easing in these areas.
In embracing the power of tears, I've discovered a profound truth: crying isn't a sign of weakness but rather an expression of our humanity. Through my journey of grief and emotional release, I've come to understand that shedding tears is a natural and necessary part of healing. It's a testament to the depth of our love and the magnitude of our loss.
Want more resources to help you navigate grief and loss? Download the Free Tips for Grief Relief Guide